Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
