Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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