Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
