You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
