I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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