I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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