you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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