Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
