So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
