I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
