I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
420 ftw
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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