I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize