I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize