I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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