Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
