Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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