I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
