They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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