You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
