who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
