i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Randomize
