I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
