also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
where are my eyebrows?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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