From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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