I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize