I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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