I wanna bring you to show and tell
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
