dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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