I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
