New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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