i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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