Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
