What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
