I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize