Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
