Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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