Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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