i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
