Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize