guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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