At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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