I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
