hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
