just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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