even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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