Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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