just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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