What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
