Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
