if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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