Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
