I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
