quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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