dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
