remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
