This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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