I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
