youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
