so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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