Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
