I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
