I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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